We had the Home Slices two month check up yesterday. Jack is doing really well, he is in the 95th percentile for both height and weight. Which comes as no surprise as he weighs almost 16 lbs! I knew my arms were sore (and my back from chronic bouncing on that damn birth ball.) His head however is only in the 79th percentile which is surprising because it looks really big LOL. All in all he is in really good health yay! He had his two month vaccines. I guess I should say some of them since there were some that we opted out of.

The vaccine issues is one of the most perplexing decisions we have made thus far in parenthood. It is such a hot button issue. I don’t think there is a definitive answer in this area, I think each family has to choose what is right for them. Which is partially why the decision is so cumbersome. In writing this I have no judgment for anyone or their choices, this was my thought process in making my decision and not a comment on any one else.

My hesitation in doing all of the vaccines according to the recommended schedule is the magnitude of the chemicals involved. If you read the ingredients they are pretty gnarly (fetal cow blood cells yikes.) I don’t even let him wear clothes that are not organic. The major scare seems to be the possible (although refuted) autism link. That does not concern me as much as the acknowledged serious (although rare) side effects including seizure and paralysis. I also feel that some of the vaccines are unnecessary. For example chicken pox, we all had it and were fine. Jack will also not be attending any kind of child care, so his exposure to germs will be lessened.

On the other hand I do not feel comfortable leaving him entirely un-vaccinated and exposed. I understand that many of the illnesses are rare and  children are not likely to catch them……because people vaccinate, and the  illnesses have become uncommon. I don’t feel comfortable leaving his chances of catching something up to the assumption that all of the other children he comes in to contact with have been vaccinated and won’t be carriers. It feels like putting the responsibility of his health to the general population rather than taking it ourselves.

In the end we choose to do some,  push some and skip some. For me it came down to this; how likely is he to catch the disease and how serious is the disease versus the chemical content and side effects (risks) of the vaccine. Our pediatrician was more understanding than I thought he would be. He felt we had the major threats  covered, and although he recommended we do the full shebang on schedule, he did not push us in to it, or make us feel uncomfortable. I was ready for a fight and have heard of some pediatricians who are real bullies  ( I understand it’s their job but I was not looking forward to it.)

All in all I feel good about the decisions we made. I did have a little crisis of confidence because the side effects were rough on him, lots of crying, fatigue and a fever.  I was up all night with him, doing some marathon nursing sessions and lots of rocking. Today he is in better spirits still a little tired and cranky but  much improved. It was an ordeal and made me realize how many tough decisions are ahead of us, how many times we are going to have to weigh our own intuition against what we are told by doctors or other experts. It’s a tricky business to be sure.

I so want these two to be buds. Axle tolerates children, but certainly does not seek them out as preferred play mates. The only amendment to this rule is a child with food on or in their hands or face. The most preferable is toddlers dropping food. He will put up with a few tail pulls for that treat (we never feed him human food.)

I was hopping then with my baby he would feel more affection, seeing the baby as an extension of me. I keep encouraging them to interact. Having Axle lick and smell him. Inciting him to lay with us at tummy time. So far I see no traces of a great and blooming love. Luckily there is no jealously or hostility. Although he does seem peeved the baby is allowed in the bed and he is not.

My one glimmer of hope is that Axle has started moving around the babys clothing, like he does with ours. A spare sock under a bed will end up by the door to greet us. Not chewed mind you, just moved. Hopefully a omage and less of a rebellion.

Ah well time will tell and hopefully they will morph in to this…..

We traveled with the Home slice for the first time. My hubbys company was shooting a wedding at the Ace in Palm Springs and I decided to tag along. I was worried about the logistics of it, but it went really well.

I was smarter this time about the car ride. I pumped, so that I could feed him when he fussed in the car, rather then having to pull over. I also sat in the back seat with him. I sang to  him and played with him when he fused. We were able to get through the whole ride with no stops, amazing!

The car was packed with in an inch of its capacity. We always swore that we would not be “those people” over packing for one small baby. We brought everything we thought he could ever need, and almost all of his wardrobe (but seriously no laundry.)

I was worried that the baby would cry all night and keep up the other guests of the hotel, and I was worried that the guests of the hotel would party all night and keep up the baby. The baby was a champ and slept just as well as he does at home, and due to the noise machine and the humidifier that I brought we did not hear the guests.

It was a fun weekend, and makes me feel hopeful about future travels with Jack.

Today was a lazy day for all of us, which is rare especially for Lynch. When he will spend the whole day in Pajamas and eat pop corn for lunch you know he is tired. We are still adjusting to life with an infant. It almost feels like a part of me is still living our old life. There is an awareness of what we would be doing if Jack were not with us; we would be watching a movie right now, or going to brunch, or Thai massage. It’s not even that I miss it, it’s just that the pattern of it is still ingrained in me ( well I do miss the Thai massage.) We are building new patterns and routines, and I look forward to the day that they feel so comfortable that I don’t think about them. So far I am loving the part where I get to suggle with my babe.

Jack is 6 weeks old today. I remember when he was 5 days old speaking to a good friend about the challenges of breast-feeding. Her pediatrician had advised her to give it 6 weeks, that it usually got easier by 6 weeks. As she shared this hopeful milestone with me I was thinking how far away that sounded.  6 weeks, she could have said 6 years, it seemed a life time.

In some ways it has been a life time. He has changed to much. He smiles now and has so much more personality. He is chattering all the while he is awake and grunting through most of his sleep. He makes eye contact when we breast feed (which has gotten easier by the way.) The seeds of his personality are plainly planted. He has some sass in him, evident by his little attempts at flirting, to the way he yells at me when we pause in nursing to burp ( side effects of over active let down….I said easier, not perfect.) One thing for sure, he certainly has me wrapped around his finger.

I was nursing him the other day when I realized that I would do anything for this little home slice. I realize that is a wicked cliché, but I would. I would change any part of my life that does not ultimately benefit him, without thinking a thought for my self.  I have already begun to make decisions entirely based on him. It is a strange and powerful feeling.

So many women express the sensation of falling ” in love at first sight” when they see their baby for the first time. I did not have that feeling exactly. I loved him, and I felt very protective and possessive of him. It took me time to get to know him, but oh is it official now. I am wildly, helplessly, in love. So happy 6 weeks my sweet little Jack rabbit, I love you so.